If money were no object, what would you do with your life?
This question changed my life. I was coming back from spending a day at the beach in Cuba with my two best friends–Maria and George. George said, “I’d retire.” Maria had no idea. My response was I’d run an orphanage and teach the kids the fun things that matter (self-care courses, how to love and be loved) while connecting each child with an orphaned dog or cat.
So much changed since then for so many reasons. I came so close to launching my dream– philanthropic retreats and tours to Cuba. I have to believe things really do work out for a reason. I’m now in Reno deciding to focus on creating retreats and courses locally for those who have suffered from parental alienation/estrangement due to a high conflict divorce or narcissistic abuse.
However, there’s also another level that keeps peeking up–a Bed and Breakfast where I can teach those self-care courses and create beautiful environments in nature. This dream came to me at the beginning of my marriage in my early twenties and it hasn’t died.
I asked myself again this morning, “Tina, if money were no object, what would you do?” And again, the answer came as it did on my retreat this past October in Colorado. I’d love to own and operate a beautiful small Bed and Breakfast in the middle of nature surrounded by white capped mountains with a river teeming with trout nearby. I’d love sheep for yarn (and as pets) and teach people (kids too) how to knit (goats for the same reason, but Angora for that silky luxurious feel), cows for fresh milk, cream, butter and cheese, chickens for those dark orange egg yolks, plus they are so much fun to watch, pigs because piglets are adorable and what’s a farm without them?
There are so many things I’d love to do with this precious life when I let myself think. What I do know is that I’m still healthy enough to pursue these things, but I do feel pressure both with healthy body time remaining and finances. I haven’t made a consistent steady income for the past four years due to time needed to invest in Cuba to make connections for the retreat/tour business there and the restoration of Maria’s ’57 Chevy.
With that dream business put on hold indefinitely (health and safety concerns due to mosquito born illnesses rampant there right now), I’ve had to really face down a lot of fears and frustrations. As the year comes to a close, I cannot and will not face another year without a substantial income stream(s). My non-negotiable value is to pursue meaningful work that gets me excited even on the days when there is nothing but drudgery or challenges before me. I totally believe it is possible for work to be inspirational, purposeful, meaningful and income generating.
Cuba would have been that, but the Universe/God had other plans for me at this time. While I mourn this loss of what was so close to being born, I also deeply trust that all the skills I’ve learned these past four years have prepared me for the next thing. What if, for now, it is to help people who have suffered from the fall out of divorce much as I did? To give them hope that we have the power to create and shape an even better life despite the losses (children, finances, old friends and colleagues)?
Maybe this is the foundation to building a Bed and Breakfast for these people who need a refuge in nature? Perhaps my course offerings, group and one-on-one experiences are how I must begin to be able to expand into the dream of a Bed and Breakfast. Maria’s cooking is part of what healed me after all my losses. Through me, she learned how healthy food prepared by someone passionate about cooking can make a difference in a person’s healing journey. She discovered that cooking is something that brings light to herself and others. Imagine a retreat with a full-time chef creating delicious meals throughout the day, happy to do it!
Maria and I committed to this upcoming 2026 year to build up financially, she managing her family’s cigar shops, and I creating safe communities for those carrying the weight of estrangement. I’m open to see where this new road I’ve chosen, takes me this year. It’s scary. I’m scared. There are no clear cut paths or answers. I have to sit in silence and listen to my gut and feel my way into the possiblities.
How about you? Where are you? If money were no object, where would you live, what would you do for a living, what would give you the feeling of peace? Explore it. Trust the money will come to support you. It begins with asking and listening.
I’d love to hear your dreams and desires either in the comments here or at my email lifeafterestrangement@gmail.com.
Hugs!