What happens when you feel highly anxious, sad, angry? Do you run to alcohol, shopping or literally running? What is your escape pattern? Do you know what we are supposed to do? Read on!
Sit in it. Don’t escape it. I think it was listening to Elizabeth Gilbert that she talked about allowing your emotions into the car, but not at the wheel; that’s where you are supposed to be. Right now I’m experiencing grief and frustration and maybe a tad of anger. Why?
Well, I’m moving from my childhood home once again. Luckily it will be here to return to, but home is home. I love this house. This is my dream home even though to many it would be ridiculously humble and imperfect. But to me it represents refuge and a reclaiming. So why the emotions other than I’ll miss being here?
I didn’t finish. I didn’t finish restoring. It isn’t perfect. I’m so critical that I’m always looking at what should have been fixed, or repainted or…Then I’m critical with myself. “Why couldn’t you have finished it? You had the time. You chose other things! Why?” This loop of thinking I can’t get over.
Maria will be here after a long drive to help me pack up and here I am sobbing, talking to myself saying, “You’ve got this. OK, what next?” Breathe, sigh loudly, sob for one minute begin again. I’ve had enough therapy to know that I’ve got this. I know what to do and this is what I can share next time you’re in this loop of emotions and can’t get grounded.
- Breathe. Breath deep in and longer on the exhale. 3-5 times seems to be enough for me. It takes off the edge anyway.
- I do a five minute meditation. It looks like this…I set the timer for 5 minutes 9 seconds (nine seconds to get comfortable) and then I feel the air go into the tip of my nose. I observe what is active in my mind, acknowledge it and go back to the nose. This can be THE longest five minutes to sit still and NOT run.
- I set timer for another five minutes to check in with my body, mind, spirit (connection to God/Universe) and emotions followed by a check in with all five senses: smell, taste, touch, sound and sight. Last but not least I pray. I ask that I listen to the advice “from above.” I ask for the help needed to live my purpose and become the person I was meant to become. I offer myself to be of service.
- The next step, if needed, I journal. After meditating, sometimes I discover things. So, I write my observations about where I am with myself, my thoughts or any “AHA” moments of clarity and self-discovery.
Instead of journaling today I’ll share what I discovered. I’m physically twitching, tense and sore from muscle stress tension. My mind is very active. Spiritually, I am just scared and confessing to it. And last, emotionally, I’m angry at myself and again, scared yet knowing I can’t stay where I am; I’ll spiritually die here.
This doesn’t happen often, but it did just now, I acknowledged my sad and frustration with a visualization of my higher self, my parent self, hugging me and giving me compassion. I heard her say, “Look at what you have done since you’ve been here. You don’t have to suffer anymore by over working and over achieving each day. Did you do your best?” I answered “Yes!” Calm swept over me.
With that, I hope you try it. I hope it works for you. If it does, let me know and if you want more steps on how calm yourself when you are in the throes of rebuilding your life, contact me at lifeafterestrangement@gmail.com.
Hugs!
Tina