Are you tired? Tired of fighting for yourself?
You’d think after surviving an estrangement, divorce, my parents’ deaths and a major move, nothing could be any harder. Right now I feel like I’m in the “hard” again and I’m exhausted.
My senior dog’s toe amputation, a business that I have to redirect after four years of dedication and now a move AGAIN away from my dearly loved home to live nearer to connections for job opportunities, I’m tired!
I might as well mention that my bladder is falling out of my vagina. I thought I had fixed the problem for good two years ago. Um, nope! My nearly 100 year old home restoration is coming to a halt and my 12 year old car is showing signs of major repair. The only thing I need to do, want to do, is earn money doing what I love to do.
I was so close to getting my philanthropic retreat and tour business to Cuba up and going. Soooo close. It hurts. Please humor me and visit the nearly done website–greatdamesexperiences.com.
I’m tired. I’m tired because I’m getting older. I’m tired because I’ve fought so many fights, alone, and here I am again sitting in my home figuring out how to take care of myself and my future. Most of the time I’m a pillar for others and a bulldozer for getting through the next big task. But there are days like today I just want a break. I want ease. I want the financial freedom to hire out all the things I don’t want to do without stressing about the cost. I want a break from being a pillar for others and myself.
Life is beautiful. Life is also so difficult. It is both. I am fortunate to have health and this home, but sadly where this home is located isn’t a place where I can work at this time. So, I have to leave and start again. Again. Again. Again. It’s been four years of being thrown off the horse, dusty and broken boned, to recover and begin again.
I’m grieving like I did when I divorced. I’m grieving for what I thought was going to happen. I’m grieving for the dreams I had been working towards that didn’t pan out. I’m grieving for my dog and her toe. I’m grieving for me. I’m grieving for you and your hurdles, obstacles and never ending challenges.
It always feels like we are alone in our grief, in our tired fighting. Intellectually I know this isn’t true. There isn’t one of us living life perfectly and fluidly and contentedly all the time. It just FEELS that way.
Community is everything. Connecting with people to share the triumphs and challenges, the explorations and discoveries, mutual passions and differences, that is what we need–not a screen. In person experiences where we can feel the presence of others.
Can you relate? Are you in a place of just being worn out from trying, falling, recovering, trying again, fighting for yourself and for your life? Fighting for peace? Fighting for financial freedom? Fighting for ease? Fighting for others?
Community! This is what I will seek to establish and create both in business and personally. The next chapter in this book called Life. How about you? Go find your people. We shouldn’t do this life alone.
Hugs