To Readers:
Look back at the most difficult times in your life. Do you realize you survived them? You’re here reading this which means you’re a survivor. My hope is for you to join me not only as a survivor, but one step greater, as a thriver! I want to help you rediscover faith and open up the door to possibility–the possibility that there are amazingly kind people out there and that life is so worth living!
“Sometimes I Thank God for unanswered prayers…” I hear Garth Brook’s song “Unanswered Prayers” go through my mind. I sit today wondering, as the Line Fire in SoCal is spreading rapidly and causing evacuations in nearby communities, if I’ll be the next to leave.
I’m doing my best to stay present and appreciate that in this moment I’m safe; my childhood home is safe and my community is safe! The smoke is subtly whispering, “Tina the fire is real.” Rather than panic and dive into unhealthy coping strategies, I’m digging into the tool box I’ve created over the past ten years and pulled out FAITH.
When I lost my marriage, my parents, my eldest daughter to estrangement, my childhood home and former friendships all within a span of two years, I didn’t believe I would survive or that life would ever be happy again. Fast forward, I have found happiness again and the truth is, my life is better! My daughter is back in my life and I even bought back my childhood home and am living in it!
What this past decade of loss and healing taught me is that things do work out. Just like Garth’s song points out that what we think we want is actually not the thing that would have given us what we wanted. In fact sometimes by not getting what we want, we not only avoid catastrophe, we find richer experiences and find ourselves living a better life than we ever could have imagined.
This is why I chose to take out the tool of FAITH today. I understand while we are in the grips of huge obstacles, it may not seem possible that it will ever get better. But life has proven to me over and over again, that it does get better. It can get better. It WILL get better. Faith is trusting that something bigger and a force greater than what you can imagine is working for you, not against you.
When I feel miserable (sad, angry, powerless, anxious) I know that the emotion will shift. It always does just like the sun rising and setting, the tides moving in and out and the seasons following their order. This is FAITH. I trust order will be restored, happiness will reenter my life and laughter is right around the corner. I know it because it HAPPENS.
While I contemplate the scenarios of what to do should I lose my home in the fire, I acknowledge it’ll be tough, but I also acknowledge that there are infinite and amazing possibilities ahead of me. I know this because I can look back and recognize that I have survived some really difficult events. Losing Marie to estrangement (a living death) was singularly THE MOST HORRIBLE pain and loss, I had ever experienced!
Would I do it again? Yes! Because it gave me the awareness and the confidence to know that I can and will survive virtually anything thrown my way. I know I have grit and determination to survive and then thrive, because I’ve already done it and I’m here living my best life thus far because of it.
Faith! I believe! One second, one hour and one day at a time. In this moment I’m OK. I’m safe and I am loved. I hope you can begin to feel the same. FAITH, she’s an excellent tool.
Hugs!