For years I’ve been dreaming about being a tour guide in Cuba. Decades ago after spending a summer in Cuernavaca, Mexico, before beginning my senior year at university, I knew I wanted to live in a Spanish speaking country. Fast forward! I just came back from spending months in Cuba and I loved it despite the economic collapse.
As I am back in the States creating a website for a philanthropic tour business in Cuba, Cuban personal chef experiences in the U.S. and getting my financial affairs in order, Maria my beloved business partner is overseeing the complete restoration of her father’s 1957 Chevy which we will be using to transport our guests throughout their stay with us. This is no small feat! (Watch Cuban Chrome on Prime or YouTube to understand). Each day as I face challenges with technology, fear in making this happen, money hurdles, paperwork, navigating rules for both the U.S. and Cuba to make this a compliant business, I think about the positive impact this business will make on so many people.
How does this tie into estrangement, or rather parental alienation? Between 2015- to 2021 I had less than a handful of contacts with my eldest daughter, Marie. So when she cut off contact shortly after turning 15, I began to write through the grief. I never knew I had the capacity to write. I just did. The words flew from my soul and onto the page and then page after page after chapter after section I formed a book.
My memoir was the greatest act of healing. I learned through writing how I had helped create the fertile ground for estrangement, how to take the steps to become the parent Marie needed me to be, should she reignite a relationship with me, and it helped me become a better parent for the daughter who did remain in my life, Grace. Most of all it inspired me to figure out how to take a painful experience and make something beautiful out of it; I call it my Taj Majal.
On my first trip to Cuba I left thinking my Taj Majal would be to operate an orphanage where my money could help children who needed love, self-love education and positive human interactions. I would name it and/or erect it after my estranged daughter. This would be my Taj Majal!
I subsequently learned that orphanages are not necessarily the best model of supporting children plus Cuba has now placed orphans within family units. That being said, I started to leave my philanthropic ideas behind and continued teaching while dreaming about creating a Cuban tour business. I wanted to have fun and show others that in spite of pain we all deserve to have fun!
Once Maria finished up her responsibilities with managing her family’s cigar stores and I decided to leave the teaching profession, we began putting together our first business based on her Cuban culinary expertise. With the money we made from our Cuban personal chef business, we went to Cuba this past October and used our financial gains to invest into our Cuban tours plan–the focus being on, how can we help the Cuban people while having fun? The answer to that question presented itself each day.
Maria’s mother lives alone about 30 minutes outside of Havana. It is in the neighborhood of Arroyo Narranjo where Maria grew up. This is where she has gone to school, had friends, created childhood memories and is now where I’ve made friends and call it my home too.
Everywhere in the world, each human is faced with challenges whether it’s their physical environment, mental health, body limitations, relationship struggles and/or financial obstacles. There is not one among us that doesn’t have trials and tribulations. When we don’t have them, that’s because they are on sabbatical or in remission.
By being in Cuba these past few months, we realized just how much the two of us can make a difference with so little. The shock and appreciation we saw on people’s faces when we tipped 100 pesos cubanos (.16 cents) at our favorite pizzeria, or when we bought school shoes for our friend’s nephew who escaped an abusive environment or when we paid the motorcycle mechanic extra for taking on our bike without an appointment…and the list goes on. Their appreciation radiated and it was THE greatest feeling ever! This was fun!
Maria and I discovered to the core just how the economy was impacting Cuba like at no other time in history. The more we interacted, the more we learned and knew that this business would have to be a win-win-win for us to proceed.
What is a win-win-win? It’s when our tour guests, the Cuban people and Maria and I all benefit from the experience. Read below to see what we mean.
Win #1 = Helping others!
Maria and I have spent months meeting people who want to work, who want to earn a living wage but are worn out and feeling hopeless. For months we’ve been networking with our Cuban friends, professionals, artisans and everyday unskilled laborers to bridge them with our future clients. Helping doesn’t mean having to donate large sums of money, in fact we don’t see that as being the only option at all.
From first hand experience we know that by donating clothes, PE equipment, school supplies, OTC medications and even packages of coffee is tremendously helpful and so appreciated. By putting these items directly into the hands of those who need these items, relationships can be born and friendships can unite. This is an absolute win.
Win #2 = Gratitude!
Our guests will inadvertently become aware of what truly does matter in their lives; what truly is important. Living in a first world country comes with the privilege of freedom–the freedom to speak our minds without consequence, leave the country whenever we choose and have access to limitless information and resources. It is our sincere hope that our guests will leave from their experience with us having profound gratitude for all that is good in their lives as well as an understanding of how there is always kindness and beauty no matter where you are in this world if you open your eyes and hearts to it.
Win #3 = What do Maria and I get out of this?
We get the thrill of knowing that our business makes a difference in peoples’ lives by creating connections between Cubans and people from all over the world. Our team works collaboratively to create positive life transforming experiences in beautiful locations. We model for our guests and teach them how to live with purpose, peace, gratitude, fun and adventure to become the best versions of themselves. This is a dream job for us because we are doing what we love!
So imagine this…you are burned out from technology, the demands of your job, the struggles with depression and anxiety and the lack of purpose in your life. You need a vacation–a pause to reboot your values and discover a different perspective on how to live life fully and joyfully. Come and join Maria and I on a custom tour of Cuba. You decide your itinerary and how you want to show up to make a difference in the lives of Cubans who need your help while simultaneously having an incredibly positive adventure. Maria helped heal me with her cooking during my years of estrangement; she’ll also do the same for you while you stay with us.
Will you join me, those of you who have lost a life (I call it a living death) from estrangement? Maybe this experience will help you to create your own Taj Majal–to take something terribly painful and turn it into something beautiful, to leave a legacy instead of a hole.
Thanks for reading! I’d love your comments. Hugs! We all need hugs!